People I Am Not

I am not Tom Alexander, a commodities broker with 24 years experience. If you want his financial expertise, go to www.alexandertrading.com.

Nor am I Tom Alexander, former racing driver and current CEO of the mobile phone company Orange. If you want to know why the future’s bright, go to www.orange.co.uk.

I wish I was as talented as Tom Alexander, the noted accordion player and one half of the successful Scottish folk music act The Alexander Brothers. To find out more about his beautiful Celtic stylings, please visit www.alexanderbrothers.com.

(Continuing the Celtic music theme, there are people who say I look like the Spanish Bagpipe player Carlos Nunez, but I refuse to acknowledge any similarity and in any case am not him.)

I don’t know much about the Tom Alexander who is married to a woman called Sanjivini, apart from the fact that he owns the domain name I originally wanted, www.tomalexander.com.

And I think I’m better off not knowing about Jockstrap Radio, one of the many projects created by the prolific Tom Alexander at www.alexanderproductions.com.

I’ve never been that strong a swimmer and judging from his Olympic records, neither was Thomas “Tom” Alexander, who was eliminated in the first round of the 400m Men’s Freestyle at the 1976 Olympic Games.

Some people might take the piss out of a photographer who doesn’t put a portfolio on their website, but given that Tom Alexander offers “Custom Gun Photography” in his range of services, I wouldn’t be one of them. So head on over towww.tomalexanderphotography.com and order some headshots.  We wouldn’t want to make him angry.

I did not die on the 4th of November, 2008.  That was the legendary trial attorney Tom Alexander, who is remembered fondly by the legal community of Houston, Texas.  An anecdote can be found here.

Given that he has a record of zero wins, zero losses and zero fights, I could be the Tom Alexander listed on the MMA sitewww.sherdog.com.  When one considers that there isn’t a picture of him and he doesn’t have much of a reputation to protect, I could easily claim it’s me and no-one would know the difference.  But it’s not, so I won’t.

Nor would I claim to be Tom Alexander, the realtor from Greensboro, NC, if for no other reason than his website (www.tomrealtor.com) has squashed his face in quite an unpleasant way.

I’m not the Tom Alexander with his own forge.

I’m not the Tom Alexander that runs the hydroponic websitewww.growingedge.com.

I’m not the Tom Alexander who wrote and directed The Dark Dealer (which is a shame because it sounds like the sort of cheesy horror anthology I’m rather partial to).

I’m not even the person who came up with this whole namesake idea.  For him, you’d have to go towww.davegorman.com.

But given that he’s not called Tom Alexander, why on earth would you want to?

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